Yet again, I have a post that has been inspired by Goddess. Simply Goddess is too vague, I think I'll dub her "Goddess of Modern Thought"... maybe MT for short. Anyways... our quick conversation lead me here and I think I must elaborate on my thoughts a bit...:
I'm finding myself in this constant dilemma of man vs. woman. How do I lay down boundaries with male friends? I don't want to discourage them from being open and themselves, because that's who I'm going to be. I will always be me. In being myself, I'm always up for a good time and ready to listen and be involved in a good conversation with someone whom I enjoy spending time with. My favorite is being challenged, and then being able to challenge the counterpart in return! I could see how my forward and friendly interaction could be misleading to the opposite sex (or at times even the same sex, depending on which way they swing) but it is strictly platonic. Even when it's not platonic, it is... Let's get back to the main thought. How are boundaries placed, while still maintaining a growing FRIENDSHIP with people of the opposite sex? Or are we women forever cursed with the idea from "When Harry Met Sally" that men and women can never be strictly friends? I feel trapped in this idea that I must accommodate others at all times to maintain my friendships. I must say there are only a few people (men and women) that I can truly say that they know me without my catering to their needs.
In retrospect, this post may seem quite egotistical, but I know there are others out there who feel the same as I currently do. It's not so much a self-righteous frame of mind I'm trying to express... it is more of a pleading for ideas and thoughts on my current state of mind. So, please, give me your thoughts, questions and ideas! I would really like further input on levels of friendships... with a focus on male-female friendships in particular!
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Concerning a particular guy, he can't take a normal hint. Or he is choosing to ignore the hint, consciously or unconsciously. If unconsciously, then he's arrogant. If consciously, then he's an idiot and completely and utterly lacks tact. Make it plain as day, even if you have to say, "quit making passes at me it AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!" thats my advice for that.
ReplyDeleteConcerning the broad spectrum of guys, its a delicate balance to strike. You being the beautiful girl that you are, boys are going to want "more" but with your swift honesty I think you can keep that at bay while maintaining their friendship. Laughing things off helps too. But if they disappear because you didn't advance the friendship in the way that they wanted, then they aren't truly a friend worth keeping anyway!
xoxoxo